Most of the mail we receive over here is junk. We get a lot of coupons, some of which can be quite useful – I don’t think we have ever paid full price for a pizza – but the majority of money-off specials get relegated to the recycling bin (which, at least, gives them a second chance).

We also get mail addressed to previous occupants of the house. We often put those envelopes into a mail-purgatory pile lest those people should ever show up at the door. We rarely open their post because it rarely interests us. However, today we got a piece of post for a previous occupant that implied it contained one of the greatest coupons ever – so i hope you can forgive me for opening it:

The curiosity was just too much. This morning I was excited about a coupon I received for a free avacado – but this trumped that several times over. This coupon seemed too good to be true.

It was.

When I opened the envelope, it went from being a brilliant coupon to being a weird competition:

This must be the only competition in the world where the winner will never experience the prize.