I have it on good authority that the site is very simple to use, and the results from it (that is, the permission) also appears fairly promptly. However, it is the appearance of the site that is most surprising.

Obviously, with so much personal information being entered on one website, it is not surprising that there are a few security concerns about it. In fact, the makers of the site – the US Government – are so concerned by security that make it impossible for people to ignore how much information they will be requiring by having a warning box appear the moment you enter the first page.

Relaxed? Not really. The legalese states that no unauthorized persons should use the site. Am I authorized to use it? Nobody has told me. Nobody tells me anything. Nevertheless, maybe it is a good thing that people are made very aware that their information is secure – and woe betide anyone who tries to make it otherwise.

Now we’re into the site, I think it would be a good idea to compare the appearance of this site, to that of other US Government sites. I will take the most closely related – the United States Center for Immigration Services a.k.a. USCIS.

This is USCIS:

This is ESTA:

Personally, I find the USCIS site quite attractive. It has a powerful appearance, giving one a clear indication of the attitude that USCIS has about immigration.

The ESTA site is quite different. There are good bits – I like the simplicity of its layout. If you are not a native English speaker, I don’t think that you would have any problems finding the website in your language (although all the questions must be answered in English anyway). However, I also think that its simplicity may be its downfall as well. The site looks a little too hurriedly put together. Take the headline banner, for example:

I’ve blown it up – but it clearly shows that the image has been compressed to the extent that it has stopped producing crisp lines. I understand that this is a website that has been set-up so that it can be accessed by all walks of internet connection, but problems like that can be simply overcome by saving it as a different file – PNG, for example. A similar compression issue exists on the graphic in the middle. It may sound like a trivial thing, but it is this appearance that has led some people to believe the site to be a hoax.

I’m surprised, with all the resources the US Government has, that this site does not look as crisp and clean as their other sites – presumably as it must get thousands of hits a day (how many people fly from the UK to the US everyday?!)

I haven’t read about any problems with the site – so maybe the appearance is a work-in-progress. It may well be another hoop for the tourist to jump through – but it still beats queueing up in the rain to get into the Embassy for a visa.

However, things have changed. Since January 12th I can no longer buy a last-minute flight to America. Nobody can. Now, you have to buy your ticket well in advance, because you need to get permission from the American Government to even attempt to get into the country – and that could take days.

When I first saw the ESTA (Electronic System for Travel Authorization) website, I thought it was a hoax. It looks like a hurriedly built site – not anything like the crisp and clean US Government sites that I have got to know oh-so-well. The graphic on the top has been compressed too much, so now shows ghosting, and the title of the site is a rather ominous “welcome” – somehow I doubt the lack of capital letters is due to them wanting to be ‘funky and fresh’.

So, as the website explains (in a variety of world languages) I now have to tell the US Government all about my travel plans, wait about 72 hours, and find out if I wasted my time booking the flight. Of course, if I do get clearance, that doesn’t mean I won’t be allowed in the country – it’s still down to a subjective decision on the part of the immigration officer I meet.

I shouldn’t be annoyed. Most people book their flights well in advance. Most people will get allowed in. Most people have the internet. But what about those people who don’t?

Oh, and watch out for people offering their services in filling out these forms. This article explains all.

So, now I am in America, and I have a funny feeling. Technically, it’s 7:04pm – but in my head it feels more like 3am. There is nothing positive about jet-lag. I have yet to meet someone who thrives on jet-lag; nobody goes on holiday to experience jet-lag. It’s horrible. Quite horrible.

As well as the premature tiredness, it is also very successful at disorientating me, confusing me, and zapping any ounce of proactivity I may have had. While I am passing the time in this state writing on the computer, poor Heather is at an orchestra rehearsal practising for two 4th July concerts. It felt a little strange for Heather to go to work at 3am – but I guess if we want to live in this country, we have to abide by its time-zone.

To help with the ’shift’ I take a herbal supplement: Melatonin. These small, unmarked, white pills (that always seems to get through airport security unchecked) are designed to naturally alter the chemicals in the brain so that we get tired and wake up at an acceptable time. On the whole, they work. However, they are quite reliant on the person actually remembering to take them. When you are very tired, this is not always possible.

At least it only lasts a few days, eh?!

Since SLC is a place of pilgrimage, it is not surprising that there are tours available. There are also a number of “tour guides” who wander freely amongst the tourists to offer any ‘help’. For some reason, this made me feel very edgy. I felt that they had an alterior motive – that they were using this opportunity to convert as many people to LDS as they possibly could – starting with me. When I mentioned to one girl that I was on honeymoon I was immediately presented with a sheet of paper explaining the church’s beliefs in marriage. When I asked about the LDS’ view on woman in the church, the reply that came was very informative, but somehow a little too rehearsed. At the time I felt a little like they wanted me to cast-away my Anglican beliefs and immediately embrace their way of thinking. However, in hindsight, I think I was a little too paranoid.

It occurred to me that what I was presented with at SLC was not all that different from what I was presented with when Heather and I went on cave tours in Nevada and Montana. The Tour Guides on the cave tours were very eager to express how important the caves were, why we should treat them with respect, and what we can do to help maintain the caves. The Guides told us about how the different formations were formed, unbelievable as it sounded (”Really? It’s just dripping water!?”), and when I asked a question, the reply that came was very informative, but a little too rehearsed. I’m sure that if I had asked something in the visitor center, I would have been promptly presented with a handy pamphlet telling me all I wanted to know and more.

I don’t really know how to draw a conclusion from this post. It was just a thought I had, that I have now shared with you. Do with it as you want.

Vancouver International Airport is an airport I got to know very well yesterday. Very well. Too well. I like airports, I find them interesting places to people-watch. Vancouver Airport is very nice as well – and by that, I mean that it is very clean. It’s an airport that is both very modern in design, yet remembers its history. For example, this is what greets you as you enter immigration.

Two, terrifyingly massive statues that replaces the need for a sign that says ‘Don’t mess with us’. Incidentally, the picture implies that between those statues at the immigration kiosks is just a beautiful blue expanse of carpet for people to mill around, possibly eat a picnic, and maybe play a game of football. In reality, it is entirely made up of tape barriers, arranged in a zig-zag that would rival Disneyland – but that wouldn’t have looked nice in the tourism brochures.

All in all, Vancouver Airport is a very pretty airport, and I was looking forward to my trans-atlantic flight from there (I flew from Reno to Seattle, and then from Seattle to Vancouver, for anyone playing airport bingo). However, my stay was not as straightforward as maybe I would have liked.

My previous flights had all been fairly uneventful, so I was in a bit of a daze when I got off the plane from Seattle (which, is one of the shortest flights I have ever taken – about 15 minutes). Coming from America, meant that we were an international flight, so it was necessary for us all to go through immigration. The high-powered businesswoman who had sat next to me on the plane and I unintentionally raced to be the first one to get cleared – but after 15 minutes of walking, and no sign of the immigration kiosks, we both got gradually slower and more tired. In total, it took twenty minutes worth of walking to get to Immigration. I cleared it without a problem (for once!) and found out that my luggage would be appearing on Baggage Carousel No. 32.

Naturally, the Carousel closest to the immigration kiosks was No. 1 – so yet more walking was required. While I was waiting for my bag, a number of slightly bizarre things happened. 1) The high powered businesswoman I sat next to on the plane stood next to me at the baggage carousel. Not particularly bizarre, but instead of wearing the suit that she had on in the plane, she had got changed into a Marilyn Monroe-style scarlet dress with unrealistically-high stillettos. 2) Above the Carousel was a TV screen showing the news with the sound turned off and no subtitles. On the screen, one news item showed two caterpillars, then a man smearing grease on a pole, followed by images of people stood on the roof of their campervan hosing down a tree. 3) That same screen regularly showed still images of some salami, a budgie, a bonsai tree, and some eggs with the caption ‘Be Aware’. 4) My baggage appeared on Carousel No. 21 – a flight from Salt Lake City.

That wasn’t the end of the strange incidents, however. After much walking through customs, and much wandering around the Domestic Departures terminal. I eventually found the way to the international departures area. Which, not surprisingly, was quite a long walk away. By the time I got to international departures, I was quite tired. I had two suitcases and my carry-on was digging a trench in my shoulder. So, I was well-pleased to find that the check-in desk for my flight was located in Domestic Departures. So, I walked all the way back again.

Now, I could continue to talk about how my orange juice was confiscated by security for potentially being a dangerous liquid (while I was drinking from it!), how my gate was at the other end of the terminal, and how every shop in the airport closed at 4:30, while my flight departed at 8:15. But that would just be too negative. So, instead I will just mention that my flight over was very uneventful, I landed safely, and my bags were some of the first to appear on the Baggage Carousel.

Bon Voyage

Now H and I are on honeymoon. This is likely to be the only blog about the honeymoon that will be written during our honeymoon. This is because it is incredibly rude of me to be writing a blog while my wife is around, and also because I think this will be the only time I have access to a computer in the next two weeks.

H and I are currently staying in a trailer. In Britain and American Trailer would be considered a static caravan – and, on the whole, they are looked down on by society. However, this one has a little bit of a difference. For starters, it is advertised as a Bed and Fix-Your-Own-Breakfast – but the pancakes that were in the freezer turned out to be quite delicious. The other reason why this trailer is so special is because of this:

Notcie anything? No? Precisely. This B&B is in the middle of abolutely bloomin’ nowhere – so much so that it is advertised as the End Of The Trail…er! We have un-hindered views of the Great Basin National Park all around us, and, quite frankly, I’m quite chuffed I found it. The inside of the trailer is exactly as you would expect a B&B to be like – there’s all the amenities one could want, and a lot of really good, local, art on the walls to keep us entertained.

Today, H and I went on a tour of Lehman caves – one of the most spectacular caves in the world, and I have no reason to doubt that. Our 90 minute tour was interesting, enjoyable, and cold (it is quite hot outside, so I consider the temperature in the caves to be a bonus). Naturally, we weren’t the only people on the tour. One particular couple could only be described as stereotypical American tourists. For example, and to link it back to our accomodation, they were explaining to the guide that they used to live in a trailer in his home state of Kentucky. ‘Were you there for a long time?’ the guide asked. ‘Oh yes’, said she, ‘about 6 months’.