I’ve been taking the bus for a few months now, and there are one or two unwritten rules that I have come across. Obviously, by “one or two”, I do of course mean ten:

1. The only bus stop the bus driver will know with any certainty is the one called “City Centre”. Whether the driver will know the locations “Top of the Hill”, “The Supermarket”, and “Just Past Thompson Road” is indirectly proportional to their level of social skills.
2. The number of seats available on the bus when you get on is indirectly proportional to the number of old ladies who will get on at a bus stop after yours, forcing you to stand up.
3. It doesn’t matter how fit or agile you may be, it is impossible to maintain your balance if you are stood up when the bus starts or stops.
4. Pushchairs travel in pairs.
5. It is mandatory for a passenger on the bus to be listening to an album probably called “Sounds of the Apocalypse”.
6. It doesn’t matter how well-behaved a child passenger may be, they will eventually get on your nerves.
7. If you are forced to sit next to someone you don’t know, they will greet you with a look that is the combination of resignation and pure hatred.
8. The back seat is not for you.
9. It doesn’t matter how horrendous the driving may be, you will always thank the bus driver upon exiting.
10. At some point during your journey, you will suddenly notice how intricate the design on the seat cushions are.

And, although it isn’t a rule as such, I would like to point out that “Megarider” is a silly name for a bus ticket.

In October 2008, I moved to my current location somewhere around Cambridgeshire. I receive a newsletter once a month from the friendly village Resident’s Association. Inside this newsletter there are letters to the editor printed on the first two pages.

If I was to get my only news from these letters, this is the knowledge I would have:

• The District Council is pure evil. It is run by thieving, immoral, money-grabbers that do not think twice about any decision they make – especially in relation to planning permission or road conditions.
• The same is true for the Parish Council.
• The worst thing that could ever happen in a village is for a Barbers to be set-up.
• The second worst thing that could happen in a village is for the Barbers to leave.
• Lorry drivers are unable to correctly judge the size of their vehicle, are some of the worst drivers in the country, and routinely and deliberately hinder the lives of as many people as possible by parking their vehicle.
• Two wind turbines equals a Wind Farm.
• It is not necessary to know all the facts as long as you make up for it with adjectives.
• People do not shop at Tesco’s, but Tesco’s likes to ruin people’s livelihoods.
• The police can’t be trusted.
• If a shop builds a wind turbine, the village can legally change its name to that of the shop.
• People only like to get angry about things after they have happened.
• Life is never boring.

Due to the snow, Gerald has been cancelled this week. Instead, here is a rather terrible drawing of a bus:

Here is a photo I found on flickr:

Here is a photo I took about 4 years ago:

Notice any similarities?

How do I know which one was taken first? In the colour photo, underneath the north window (the one on the left) is a framed picture. That picture is the black and white one above.

I should point out that I am not annoyed by the copied photo – just surprised.